Miracle worker?

Yesterday I was feeling shitty shit shit. Today, I saw my counsellor, who has a "Gift" I'm sure of it. She knows things about me I haven't told her... Some people may be sceptical about spiritual healing, angels etc... I was too until I met her. But she says she can see our souls/spirits on the outside of us, like a tiny version of ourselves that float about, and that is where our fears are kept. She gets me lay back and close my eyes..and imagine myself sitting next to myself (if that makes sense) then she talks to the "other me" though my... God this all sounds confusing and is very hard to explain, but I swear she has made a massive difference to my life already. My anxiety is no where near as bad as it used to be. For instance, I can now be left alone for a little while whilst in a shop..

She's basically talking to my subconscious, similar to hypnotherapy. I guess you wouldn't believe in it unless it's happened to you.

Long time no see...

I haven't blogged for ages.. I can't actually remember the last time I logged on here actually. But things are going to change, I plan on blogging at least once a week from now on!

Christmas was lovely, I spent it with my nearest and dearest and received some very nice presents.

The day after boxing day was the start of a decline in my mood unfortunately. I spent the following days mainly in bed, crying and feeling generally awful. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I'd been so busy during the build up to Christmas and I was just tired? Or possibly it was the post Christmas blues. But after around 8 days my mood lightened. I'm now feeling pretty good, my boyfriend is really supporting me through fighting my anxiety. We've been out and about a lot more, we went for two meals this week! We went to Sainsburys and my little task was to leave him and go down an aisle alone and pick some items. Well, I done better than that.. I left him at the DVD section and went to the veggie part and butter part to get ingredients for a pizza pastry thing! So I was probably walking around alone for... 3 minutes. Okay that doesn't sound very long to you, but to me it's great!! I also went to Asda with him and walked from around half way through the store to the other end to get a cake then back again to meet him in the shampoo bit. These are baby steps but very important steps for me.

I need to continue going out in public pretty much every day and not allow myself to be stuck inside for too long as I do slip back into depression very easily.

I've almost finished my Victorian silhouette cross stitch. It's taken me ages as the aida is SO tiny, I think it's around 2mm. It's looking great though, so neat. My Mum finished her one of a stags head this evening, it looks brilliant. I'll take some photos later.

I got a cupcake cushion tapestry for Christmas off my parents which is absolutely gorgeous but is going to take me a very long time to complete. I've done 5 rows so far and that took a while.. but it's so cute and pretty, I can't wait to finish it!

I've made some new videos for youtube recently.. not that many people watch them, but it gives me something to do! Here's the link for my channel

I'm seeing Linda on Weds which I'm looking forward to, she is like a miracle worker I swear!

Time for bed! xxx

Christmas is coming....

It's one month today until Christmas eve!! Goodness me.. this year has gone so quickly! And, it's started to snow here in Norwich!! It looks so pretty when it falls and it's eerily silent. Then to dogs go rushing out in the garden and make a mess!!

Today I was excited to see a parcel from "Shellie's Crafty Corner"! I opened it quickly to see my little reindeer had arrived! He was wrapped up nicely in brown tissue paper and arrived safe and sound! I showed my Mum and she thought it was great, couldn't believe someone had hand made it themselves! I told her my friend Shellie made it, one of my little internet buddies - I'm so thankful for the internet and the friendships I have on there, I'd be incredibly lonely if I didn't have the net!

Here's a pic of the gorgeous little Rudolf! He's very well made, Shellie has only being doing crochet for about a month or so and is so good at it! Check out her folksy shop here All her Christmas items are only £4.99! So cheap!

So thanks so much Shellie for my lovely reindeer, he's sitting pride of place on our kitchen windowsill at the moment!

Check out Shellie's blog here

Up before midday

Today I was up and out of bed before 12pm. For some people, well for most people this is quite normal. But for me, it is a rarity! The past few months I have been sleeping till 4pm and not going to bed until 3am..so almost nocturnal!

But today my Dad woke me up and I took my ear plugs out and got up! Had a bowl of Lucky Charms for breakfast, had a shower... Took Dad to work then went round my boyfriends. We had a very nutritional (ho ho) Mcdonalds for dinner and watched the 1st and 2nd Harry Potter films. I did have a bit of a cat nap though...

So I'm feeling quite upbeat about today. I hope tomorrow I can continue this and wake up early again :)

Now I'd like to share a few thoughts with you regarding 5 beautiful men... Take That.

I've always been a MASSIVE Robbie fan since I was about 10, I remember getting his album Sing When You're Winning and singing the songs on the way to school with my friend... I became a Take That fan when they came back on the scene in 2005? By this time Robbie was sort of out of the picture but I still loved him. Over these past few years I am become obsessed with Take That, I love their music, their tours are always amazing, and they're nice chaps. Now Robbie has re joined I'm sort of split on my opinion of it all.

I do think it's great they're back together, but I think Robbie missed his chance when they asked him back in 2005 and he turned it down. Now Take That are riding high and Robbie's last album was a flop - he suddenly wants to join them? I watched the documentary about his return the other week and I sensed a few of the band member weren't keen on him coming back. Their album seems very Robbie influenced, the lyrics seem similar to his stuff and not very Take That-ie.

In The Flood video as Robbie is the lead vocalist he is in it the most which I found annoying. When they've performed live he seems to be acting like the "lead singer" or still as a solo artist in the way he is acting and singing which I'm not comfortable with. Gary, Mark, Jason or Howard have never performed that way.

It could be down to nerves though, I know Robbie suffers from terrible stage fright and anxiety and puts on this front of "the big ego". I just hope once he has settled in he won't be so.. in your face and over the top. Right now it feels as though it's Take That feat. Robbie Williams?

Anniversaries & Suprise Deliveries

Today my Dad went to the Royal Mail depot to collect a couple of parcels for me, when he returned he had quite a few boxes and I knew what most of them are but one I just couldn't think what it could be. I racked my brains thinking of all the things I'd ordered recently but none of them fitted the size or shape of the box... So I ripped it open to find.. A CUPCAKE PUZZLE!!!! Some of you may not realise, but I am obsessed with cupcakes... Ever since I was a teenager I have loved them... I have pictures, posters, candles, bath products, jewellery, figurines and even tattoos of them everywhere. I have never seen a cupcake puzzle before so I thought this was seriously cool! There was a card in with the parcel, which I have to say is possibly the prettiest card I have ever seen:I opened it and found out the lovely person who had sent me this gift, totally out of the blue was... Sarah! (FoudOnFilm) She is one of the lovely girls who reviewed some of my soaps on youtube and we have developed a little friendship online. She wrote some really kind words that touched me and really cheered me up.

I have sent her an email telling her how grateful and touched I am by her surprise present, I really was so thrilled to receive it. It gives me faith that there are lovely people out there :) So Thank You Sarah, you have made my day!! Week infact!



Today is mine and my boyfriend's 3rd anniversary! 3 years ago today we shared our first kiss! A few weeks later we became an "official couple" but neither of us can remember the date of that... I've been suffering from a cold this week but today I feel a bit better but didn't really fancy going out anywhere, and neither did he so we got a chinese meal for 2 from good old Asda and it was actually really yummy!!



Dean hates having his picture taken and whenever we try get on together they always end up look crap.. But I managed to get a reasonably decent one of him here... Bless him

Change in thought patterns

Since I saw my therapist on Tuesday I am noticing a difference in my thoughts. I think she somehow, hypnotised me, or spoke to my subconcious because I don't seem to be obsessing and thinking about vomiting too much. Before, if I was unoccupied my brain would start to think about being sick over and over, and they would be really clear, vivid thoughts where I could atually see the vomit coming up my throat and out of my mouth (Sorry if this is too graphic!) I would literally obsess over it.
But I've caught myself not thinking about it so often. Every now and then I will think about it, but not for long and not so vividly.
Could this be the end of my phobia??

Baby Bunting!

Today I received two packages in the post - one from Elf, and one from "Lemon Squeezy" a shop on Folksy.

From Elf T got two nail polishes in the colours Twinkle and Lilac and a Tinted Moisturiser. I ordered them Sunday night so the delivery was really quick! I really like the moisturiser, it's a nice consistancy and smells nice. I've just put some of the Twinkle polish on over the Barry M mint green I already have on my nails and they look so pretty! Twinkle is just a clear glittery polish.

From "Lemon Squeezy" I got a bunting kit! I love bunting and have seen it in a lot of shops and online but didn't want to spend £20 on something I could easily make myself. When I saw this kit for £6 (i think) I had to get it. You get all the pieces of material you need and the binding to hang them from.
I love the materials, they are so pretty! I cannot wait to start making this.